Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
