I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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