I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
