I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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