I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
