My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
