My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize