i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
