thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
