Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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