i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
