I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
