fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
