if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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