Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
