I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
