Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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