I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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