There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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