They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
