My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
