so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
