dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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