It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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