Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
