I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
