I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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