So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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