i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
