i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
