Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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