I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
