I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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