Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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