I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
