id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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