So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
