ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
