I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
