The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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