sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
