??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
