just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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