You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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