dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
