normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
