dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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