Where is the hickey?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
