In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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