Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
