I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
