need another drink. this is the easiest way
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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