YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
