You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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