Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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