Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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