Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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