you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize