he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
