your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
