I bet he comes in French.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
