Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize